Jenna Howard

Success!!!

2009-12-10T19:01:00.004-07:00

I'm about to show how utterly twitty I am.

For the past four years, I've been unhappily forwarding my emails via GoDaddy. It never entered my brain that I could do it any other way.

Until today.

A thought niggled in my brain: "This can't be right."

I've been dissatisfied that my return emails didn't say {me} at jennahoward.com. I ventured over to gmail in an attempt to forward and such there. Without much success.

"This can't be right," I muttered as I began to think and think and think.

And then I thunk some more.

When I realized, yeah, it wasn't right.

So four years later and after 1.5 hours of going "Why isn't this working!!!!" (humming dunh-dunh-duuuuunh)

I now have a real officially working {me} at jennahoward.com.

I'm so friggin' pleased with myself that I have to fight the urge to email myself repeatedly just to see {me} at jennahoward.com in the return mail window thinger.

It's a thing of beauty, I tell ya. A frickin' thing of beauty.

Visualize This

2009-12-06T14:17:00.005-07:00

I'm a visual girl. It helps a bit with the real life job. It's a pain in the ass with the writing job.

Before istockcrackphotos came along, I would find images of my characters on the internet. I need to know what they look like. It helps keep their voices strong in my head as I type them. Unfortunately something went wrong with a vampire story.

"I wussed out the heroine," I whined. It was the picture of a model. No idea where I found her. Probably Victoria's Secret. She went from a kick ass vampire to someone who needed to be rescued. Gag. Me. Please.

In my procrastinating cruise through istock, I found a picture that conveyed exactly what I wanted. "Oh yeah," purred my muse, "there she is."

I've had a hard time finding a picture of my bad ass, bad Dagger boy, Chaz because he is baaaaaad. So baaaad and all the pictures were of pretty boys. Chaz is anything but a pretty boy. I did a second search and went "Oh." He was half in shadows. There was nothing delicate about him though. The shadows made him darker, made him harder, made him Chaz. I bookmarked it.

I bought the images that tweaked my muse the other day, which is probably a big no no. The publisher, no doubt, would want the license. I, however, needed those 3 images. I needed them with the greediness of my nephews when they want something: "Gimme dat!" I needed to know these two faces were mine. Oh sure anyone on the planet can also buy them, I don't care. They're mine. Those voices are mine.

Something tells me I'm going to be spending a lot of money at istockcrackphtos. I can't even feel guilty about it. I won't even hesitate.

I need those pictures. Need them passionately. They are mine. Back off.

Inspiration? Hot damn!

2009-12-03T23:38:00.003-07:00

In a bored moment at work, I was randomly searching words on istockphoto.com when I found one that tweaked my muse.

Then this evening I found another one then another.

They're swirling in my brain and I find myself wanting to purchase the images so that they are mine (all mine mwahahaha) then fiddle around in Photoshop because that's what I do, y'know. All so I can gaze and think and plot and go "oh yeah...that's them."

All while visions of a warrior chick in my brain stirred to life.

Ahhhhh inspiration. I love it so. No matter where I find it. The last time this happened it was a little voice whispering in my head: "My name is Scorpio and I'm an assassin. I hunt monsters. I kill them to make the world a safer place. Did I mention I'm your heroine?"

Nothing like a tough yet vulnerable chick with a sword...and fangs. Did I mention she has fangs? No? Oh well...she does. And a sword.

mouserism

2009-10-26T02:53:00.003-06:00

I haven't been writing.

Too busy dealing with the stress of mice.

Little bastards.

That I'm unsure if that was a mouse that just scurried over my body almost 2 hours ago was real or a product of my imagination is testament that the mice are winning this war.

Okay so I'm not writing because I jumped the plot shark but it's hard to concentrate when my sanctuary has been invaded.

Little bastards.

I'm bigger, I should be winning this war.

I'm not. I'm tired. I'm cranky from not writing when I was bleeding out the words prior to this invasion. "It's mental warfare," I told my brother. "Mouse terrorism." "Mouserism," he said then howled with laughter. Big bastard.

I want to write. I want to create, I want to not wonder what that noise over there was.

The Truth...Hurts

2009-10-06T10:42:00.004-06:00

I'm feeling sulky.

I had a friend (though is he really...is he really?) read a completed story of mine. It's been awhile since I had a critique.

And well...

Hell.

Damn him.

How dare he not tell me my story has no plot holes, every word is awesome, the sex scenes were hot hot hot (funny...he never said anything about those), that pacing is too fast (I'm a fast girl) and "Gee, where's the friggin' looooove?" and that I should stop dithering and submit that bad boy because it will sell sell sell.

How dare he tell me the truth.

Feeling very sulky. Very. Sulky.

Facebook

2009-09-26T00:18:00.001-06:00

I decided to bite the bullet and there's now a Facebook profile for me.

I couldn't resist. It's all about procrastination folks.

Returning to the Fold

2009-09-02T21:43:00.004-06:00

After an absence of almost 3 (or is it 4?) years I returned to the RWA. I need to be around writers again. I need to be back in the goo of it.

Awesome, eh?

Methinks so!

Now to just join some chapters.

The Bright Side?

2009-08-20T12:50:00.004-06:00

My writing tends to veer towards the dark & twisty. I'm find with this. I like reaching into my own dark & twisty and using it. Nice to know it's good for something.

At this moment though (this one...right now) I'm wanting to write something not so dark & twisty. I think it's because my current frame of mind is, I hate to say it, a little bouncy. I'm all giggly on the inside. As I sit here I'm fighting a smile and I'm not sure why. It's not like today has changed all that much from yesterday. All I know is that I was looking at my works in progress and felt a heavy sigh because while I love the stories I don't particularly want to go into the dark & twisty.

I'm not saying I want to crack open my funny bone and spill out a romantic comedy - been there, done that, ain't going back - but I want a story that's...kinda...fun. Oh god, that made me a little sick. Okay maybe not fun but not so serious. Not so dark.

Maybe that's my challenge. To write something I normally don't write. I can do that. Right?

*eeek*

Surrounding Myself

2009-08-17T13:48:00.002-06:00

This is a solitary business. I've lost touch with a lot of writer friends over the past few years and find myself wanting to be surrounded by writers again. I've found myself clicking old familiar links then doing the math as I contemplate rejoining those writing organizations I left.

It isn't their knowledge I seek (though that is a bonus), it's their company...their energy. I want to talk writing to those who know what the hell I'm talking about. I want to embrace the craft I left to heal. I'm done healing, it's time to emerge from my self-inflicted cocoon. It's time to find my peeps again.

It's time.

Yes.

Out of the Woodwork

2009-07-25T13:08:00.003-06:00

It was rather surprising, I must say, when as I lay listening to the hum of the a/c unit and trying to sleep when they prowled to the surface.

Characters from a long long time ago. I'd say 1994-ish. I haven't given them much thought since I abandoned them years ago. Not even when I picked up the old unfinished manuscript to read. Last night though, they reappeared slipping through the cracks of my Dagger Boys and shapeshifters.

It's always a little surreal when that happens. Old, forgotten creations return.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I'm mixing up who got who and I'm not sure how long they'll stick around before they become forgotten creations again. But if nothing else I'm writing. Which is the hole point, n'est-ce pas?

hello my name is...

2009-07-12T14:47:00.002-06:00

For the first time since 2006, I'm contemplating a writer's conference.

It's not so much that I need to know the craft but fine tuning it can't hurt. Mostly I want to sit at a table with fellow writers and inhale the energy.

Any excuse for a road-trip really.

The Book

2009-06-20T14:13:00.002-06:00

I'm wondering more and more if I don't need a Facebook page.

Hm...

Never mind the constant fear no one will friend me. It seems to be the thing to do. I never did jump on the Myspace wagon (and I'm okay with that) but...

Back to the Present

2009-06-08T12:34:00.005-06:00

Since I've been revisiting my Dagger boys, I've been glued to my laptop. My housework is suffering. Okay who am I kidding, it suffered before I became re-obsessed with my boys.

I was lying in bed, wondering what the heck I was going to do with one of them when it came to me. Like a brilliant idea always does - just before I fell asleep. I got a few paragraphs into Dex's story (man he's gone through name changes unlike the other three) and came to a grinding halt. I needed to understand his past relationship with the heroine before I could enter the present. Especially since her present was altered dramatically by the past. And so for the past month, that's what I've been doing. Writing their past. I'm almost done and I have to say I'm relieved. I'm ready to actually write them now. I've been wondering for years on what to do with this guy since the Dagger boys arrived in my kitchen. Since I now know...I'm so ready to get to it. To get on with it.

My patience is minimal at best. And because one of my favourite things to do is to find the right song for my stories....here it is. This fits in so many ways for my couple.

Sarah McLachlan ~ I Will Remember You

Puzzle Pieces

2009-05-19T10:12:00.003-06:00

When I write, it's usually in order. Sometimes I'll stop to write a quick scene out of order so I don't forget it.

This time around I'm all over the place. Past, present and I have to say it's annoying me. Granted I'd rather hammer out the scene (that will probably change upon entry into the story) then forget it and a lot of the scene bits are from the past but still...

All over the place.

I'm not going to complain though (or at least a lot) as it means I'm writing. And that is always a good thing. Back to my puzzle pieces I go.

Beyond My Limits?

2009-04-29T09:27:00.003-06:00

I'm back to dabbling with my oh so bad Dagger Boys and I wonder about the fine line I walk with these boys.

I was writing a scene with Chaz and he's just so...amoral. Writing from his point of view is, well, scary when he thinks things like "He had killed for her. Without remorse. Without hesitation." Truthfully, I think he kinda liked killing the guy. All because said corpse dared to hurt one of his own. He has a weird code of honour, I tell you what.

As I write start first story, there's a bit of hesitation in me because these are not good people. I worry I'm pushing some fine line with this series, and I've always felt that way. The guys are violent. Their pasts are less than legal and my current heroine. I wince at her past and yet if I change it...she's not who she is anymore. And yet I can't make them sweet, good, err....legal people. I can't. Because then Chaz isn't Chaz (oh yeah, I still heart him four years later...he's soooo baaaaaad.) None of the Dagger Boys would be the same. Hell, they wouldn't be the Dagger Boys.

And yet...I worry.

I worry what I write is way beyond dark & twisty. Their world is dangerous, deadly and, uhm most of the time, illegal.

Not that this is stopping me. I've learned to follow where the story goes, to be true to the characters. But man alive...I worry at what emerges from these four guys. I worry I can't do them justice. I worry about these guys. I worry about them a lot.

I do remember when I was told though "Write scared." When you write scared, you write honest. It means your doing something right.

Oh boy. Have I mentioned I'm petrified about this series? And I always have been?? Gads.

rewrites

2009-04-20T20:51:00.003-06:00

How can rewriting be this hard?

I'm currently staring at the cursor and I have no idea how to start. Oh sure I have the prologue written but now what?

Aurgh!!!!

This may require a stronger drink than Coke Zero.

Amazon Stinks

2009-04-12T16:43:00.006-06:00

There's nothing like waking up from a nap to discover the erotic romance genre has been kicked in the groin.

By none other than Amazon.

Erotic romance authors are having their sales ranks stripped of their sales and kicking said books from their search listing. As one who has two books listed (one I had to pay for for crying out loud) this both alarms me and pisses me off. My sales listings haven't been stripped yet.

Yet.

But I have no doubt it will happen.

God damn it.

I can't say the same for other writers I heart and spend money on.

Other are blogging about this way more effectively than I. Smart Bitches have coined the voluptuous phrase Amazon Rank and Maya Reynolds is always up on the industry.

Apparently this is also hitting the classics (Lady Chatterley's Lover) and authors such as Ellen Degeneres.

What a crock.

Update: According to Maya Reynold's latest post, the little people with the credit card are being heard.

Sweet Tweet

2009-04-08T07:07:00.000-06:00

Because I'm not procrastinating enough on my own...

I'm now on Twitter.

the chopping block

2009-04-04T12:05:00.000-06:00

Did some writing this morning.

I'm not happy with it.

So I'm going to go shoe shopping. One should always have new shoes when she's about to delete 2,189 craptacular words.

The Fear

2009-03-31T21:54:00.001-06:00

I have the fear.

I have completed stories but I don't seem to have the guts to submit them.

Meanwhile they're sitting on my hard drive, collecting dust.

I need to overcome the fear and submit.

I need to overcome the fear and fix the one manuscript.

What's the point of writing these stories if I can't do anything about them?

I need to get past the fear.

I'm not even sure where it came from. But it's sure as shit counterproductive.

What's in a Name?

2009-03-19T09:43:00.000-06:00

After two years of loathing a title in a manuscript I've been working sporadically on, I finally got the title right.

Throw in the ending and shazaam....I'm ready to put this bad girl to bed.

Who knew it would take the right title to get really fired on this thing? Or maybe I'm just weird. Hm.

Destination: The End

2009-03-16T23:40:00.000-06:00

It's taken me almost 2 years to figure out the ending to a story that I've been working on (though not continuously...I'm so story fickle.) I was lying in bed when it came to me. I had to fight the urge to fire up the laptop to get it out. Imagine my relief when I woke up in the morning and I still remembered the ending. Phew. I wonder if it's not knowing where I was taking this story that was slowing my process down.

Granted it's had a few changes the past 2 years, as it should, but I never saw the final destination for my characters.

I have it now and now all I want to do is get to that point. Those two lovely words "The End" but let's face it, my characters have been awfully patient on getting their end. It's time to give it to them.

Reading Backwards

2009-03-13T12:54:00.000-06:00

In the midst of cleaning out my spare bedroom to make it habitable for others, I found a manuscript I believe I wrote in the early 90s.

It is, for a lack of a better word, terrible.

It's a plotless wonder. There's so much head hopping my head hurts. My descriptive powers totally sucked. Don't even get me started on the cliche characterizations.

This thing is bad. Like, "I can't believe I wrote that crappy" bad. But the nice thing is that I can see how far I've come in my writing.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to return to finishing this claptrap and wonder how I could write a book without one swear word. Not one. Not even a "damn it".

The phrase "you've come a long way, baby" keeps echoing in my head. Thank god, is all I can think.

Fixing It

2009-02-21T14:16:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to fix my story. I need to tweak my characters. My heroine needs to be stronger, and my heroes a little more defined.

Only I'm not sure how to do it. I keep opening the word files and staring at these three characters and I'm unsure of how to fix them.

In the end, I guess I need to stop overthinking and just get to it. The more I think, the more overwhelmed I get. The more overwhelmed I am, the less I write.

So less thinking and more tappa tappa. I think that's what it comes down to. Especially since I was asked by my editor "How're the rewrites going?" and my response was "Uhhhhh...."

Email Issues Resolved

2009-02-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Go Daddy's help email is working again. Phew. I really need to stop tinkering over there.