Beyond My Limits?

I'm back to dabbling with my oh so bad Dagger Boys and I wonder about the fine line I walk with these boys.

I was writing a scene with Chaz and he's just so...amoral. Writing from his point of view is, well, scary when he thinks things like "He had killed for her. Without remorse. Without hesitation." Truthfully, I think he kinda liked killing the guy. All because said corpse dared to hurt one of his own. He has a weird code of honour, I tell you what.

As I write start first story, there's a bit of hesitation in me because these are not good people. I worry I'm pushing some fine line with this series, and I've always felt that way. The guys are violent. Their pasts are less than legal and my current heroine. I wince at her past and yet if I change it...she's not who she is anymore. And yet I can't make them sweet, good, err....legal people. I can't. Because then Chaz isn't Chaz (oh yeah, I still heart him four years later...he's soooo baaaaaad.) None of the Dagger Boys would be the same. Hell, they wouldn't be the Dagger Boys.

And yet...I worry.

I worry what I write is way beyond dark & twisty. Their world is dangerous, deadly and, uhm most of the time, illegal.

Not that this is stopping me. I've learned to follow where the story goes, to be true to the characters. But man alive...I worry at what emerges from these four guys. I worry I can't do them justice. I worry about these guys. I worry about them a lot.

I do remember when I was told though "Write scared." When you write scared, you write honest. It means your doing something right.

Oh boy. Have I mentioned I'm petrified about this series? And I always have been?? Gads.

rewrites

How can rewriting be this hard?

I'm currently staring at the cursor and I have no idea how to start. Oh sure I have the prologue written but now what?

Aurgh!!!!

This may require a stronger drink than Coke Zero.

Amazon Stinks

There's nothing like waking up from a nap to discover the erotic romance genre has been kicked in the groin.

By none other than Amazon.

Erotic romance authors are having their sales ranks stripped of their sales and kicking said books from their search listing. As one who has two books listed (one I had to pay for for crying out loud) this both alarms me and pisses me off. My sales listings haven't been stripped yet.

Yet.

But I have no doubt it will happen.

God damn it.

I can't say the same for other writers I heart and spend money on.

Other are blogging about this way more effectively than I. Smart Bitches have coined the voluptuous phrase Amazon Rank and Maya Reynolds is always up on the industry.

Apparently this is also hitting the classics (Lady Chatterley's Lover) and authors such as Ellen Degeneres.

What a crock.

Update: According to Maya Reynold's latest post, the little people with the credit card are being heard.

Sweet Tweet

Because I'm not procrastinating enough on my own...

I'm now on Twitter.

the chopping block

Did some writing this morning.

I'm not happy with it.

So I'm going to go shoe shopping. One should always have new shoes when she's about to delete 2,189 craptacular words.