Beyond My Limits?

I'm back to dabbling with my oh so bad Dagger Boys and I wonder about the fine line I walk with these boys.

I was writing a scene with Chaz and he's just so...amoral. Writing from his point of view is, well, scary when he thinks things like "He had killed for her. Without remorse. Without hesitation." Truthfully, I think he kinda liked killing the guy. All because said corpse dared to hurt one of his own. He has a weird code of honour, I tell you what.

As I write start first story, there's a bit of hesitation in me because these are not good people. I worry I'm pushing some fine line with this series, and I've always felt that way. The guys are violent. Their pasts are less than legal and my current heroine. I wince at her past and yet if I change it...she's not who she is anymore. And yet I can't make them sweet, good, err....legal people. I can't. Because then Chaz isn't Chaz (oh yeah, I still heart him four years later...he's soooo baaaaaad.) None of the Dagger Boys would be the same. Hell, they wouldn't be the Dagger Boys.

And yet...I worry.

I worry what I write is way beyond dark & twisty. Their world is dangerous, deadly and, uhm most of the time, illegal.

Not that this is stopping me. I've learned to follow where the story goes, to be true to the characters. But man alive...I worry at what emerges from these four guys. I worry I can't do them justice. I worry about these guys. I worry about them a lot.

I do remember when I was told though "Write scared." When you write scared, you write honest. It means your doing something right.

Oh boy. Have I mentioned I'm petrified about this series? And I always have been?? Gads.